Muffin Robbery Causes Chaos at Men’s Group

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An incident occurred today at Men’s group which could have had catastrophic consequences. Feisty Fred the grumpy 95 yo resident had dozed off while painting one of the indoor golf boxes today. Fred had been unable to hold his paintbrush due to his self confessed condition of being “almost dead”, and proceeded to tell me he “couldn’t give a stuff!” then nodded off.

Nifty Neville the 70 year old resident (a former doctor) saw an opportunity to reach across and steal his muffin. I watched the theft take place and decided to keep the peace by not declaring that I saw him take it. Seconds later Fred woke up, looked at Neville (who was grinning like a cheshire cat) and noticed crumbs on his chin. Fred then let out an an almighty spray aimed at me. He said “Why don’t you go and punch this bastard in the the nose, he just stole my muffin!”. He then said “If you don’t belt him I will, I wanted that muffin!”.

I decided to leap into action and promised Fred I will source him a brand new ‘extra fresh’ muffin just for him. I ran to the kitchen but no-one was there, the morning tea trolley had left so I was forced to run to another wing of the aged care facility and beg for a muffin. Luckily they complied and I raced the muffin back to Fred.

Fred moved his new muffin to a safe place on the table before devouring it. He did zero painting today but I guess he was engaged in the group indirectly and a brawl was averted…..This is Dementia

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